Miss Layla has been my side-kick and best bud for the past 10-years.  We rescued her from the streets of Tennessee, and from the moment my husband Gary and I met her, she was oozing with joy, enthusiasm, and unconditional love.

Layla left this earth unexpectedly and far too soon this past weekend, and I wanted to share my grieving process while it’s still fresh in my mind in the hope that I can help whoever needs to read this.

No doubt, when Gary and I learned the vet was performing CPR, we were uncontrollably sobbing and in disbelief. 

I went from denial to anger at myself for not knowing or being able to help sooner to praying and asking the Universe to send Layla all of my energetic vitality, love, and healing energy in the hope she would pull through.  I know anything is possible.

We weren’t able to be with her in her final moments when we received the call, “we did everything we could to save her; she was a sweet girl, and I’m so sorry.”

1. I allowed myself to feel how I was feeling in the moment, express it and name it, ugly crying and all.

Before understanding how the mind, our energy, and Universal Laws work, the “old,” me would have swallowed my sadness and remained stoic.  I realize the importance of feeling what I’m feeling, fully and completely, and then choosing a new future, energy, and point of attraction.  Yes, I feel sadness, grief, and all of the negative emotions; after all, I am human.  I won’t choose to stay there for long, and realizing I do have a choice is empowering.

I told Gary that I would allow myself one day to google Layla’s condition, talk to the vet about what happened, what I could have done, etc…then I had to stop and release the guilt.  I know guilt is useless, and it’s actually the lowest emotion vibrationally; however, I also know that what we resist persists.

2. I distracted myself when I caught myself wanted to slip back into guilt and google research mode. 

I distracted myself with a little shopping trip to my favorite boutique.   Gary and I enjoyed some mac and cheese comfort food and Netflix.  Oddly enough, I organized my shoes, got rid of all the boxes, and straightened up my office.  The distractions gave me pause from the intense emotions I was feeling.

3. I allowed myself to be supported and give support

I shared this experience with my soul-mate, Gary, and we didn’t hide our emotions.  We were 100% in it together, and when one of us was having a tearful moment, the other was there to console and support.  It used to be so hard for us to accept support, and now it just feels so good. 

I reached out to a couple of close friends to talk, and I posted on social media to let people know we were hurting.  I read every love-filled post and cried, realizing how abundant I am, to love and to be loved.  Layla loved EVERYONE, and it was awesome to see people who met her show their love for her.

Know, you are worthy of support and give people the gift of being able to be there for you.

4. I prayed and meditated a mantra for about an hour until my weeping turned into a feeling of gratitude. 

I wasn’t trying for anything; it just happened as I lost myself in the meditation.  I started to realize the vastness of the Universe and how nothing is created or destroyed; it only changes form.  Our energy is omnipresent, and when we lose a loved one in their bodily form, their energy remains with us.

5. I turned my attention outward.

Instead of thinking about my pain and the void I was feeling, I thought about ways I could help others.  For example, I went to the dog rescue site to see what beautiful soul I could help next.  I can’t save all of the homeless pups, but I can make a difference for one right now.

I registered for the Unstoppable Foundation Gala to help provide clean water, nutrition, job training, medical care, and education for some incredible humans in Kenya.  This is work I am deeply committed to.

Every moment we are given with each other is a gift, and there is a reason, purpose, and meaning behind every living being with whom we come in contact.  I am grateful for this pain I feel because it means my heart is open to love.  I have loved and am loved, and that is an incredible gift in and of itself.

I hope this helps you somehow, and if you have any comments, shares, or questions, please reach out.